“I don’t want to complain but…”

Complaining. We all do it. It’s inescapable. You’ll find that it is precisely what I am about to do in this post. Complaining about complaints. Slightly ironic.

If you go to a cafe and you have a genuine issue such as under-cooked food, by all means raise the issue. However, the petty complaints? There’s no need for them.

  • Complaining about prices

Believe it or not I am not a mystical god that controls the price board. You might think £3.90 for a bacon butty is a bit excessive but we have to cover the cost of ingredients, staff, rent, etc. You whinging won’t make me give you a 10% discount. You don’t like the prices? Go to Costa. Oh wait…they’ll charge you even more. That £2.10 latte is looking pretty good now huh.

  • Complaining about the time taken

I know you want your food quickly. We all do. But please be patient. Some days we have three members of staff to: cook, prep trays, deliver food and drinks, take orders, clean tables AND wash dishes. All that and more when the queue is quite literally out the door. No, you won’t get your full English with extra trimmings straight away. We want to give you your food, not food poisoning.

  • Complaining about other customers

Sometimes we do get a slightly… trying customer. Everyone does. But don’t sit there and complain to us about their noisy child or their dog or their smoking or whatever else it may be. What gives you the right?  They are just as entitled as you are to sit there and enjoy the sunshine. And look on the bright side, it’s only for half an hour of your day.

  • Complaining about seating

We have the rule that you must be seated to be served. Therefore it is not unreasonable for me to ask you to sit before I am able to serve you. Yes, I can clearly see that there is no seating outside but there is plenty inside. Don’t moan about our rule because you seriously cannot rest two teacups, milk, sugar, strainer and a teapot on the lock gates. That is a recipe for disaster.

Don’t complain about stupid things. But, just remember, if you have to moan because your coffee hasn’t reached you as soon as you set foot in the door – you’re the person we go home and laugh about…


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